"As we sat there listening to the carolers, I wanted to tell Brian that it was over now and that everything would be okay. But that was a lie, plus I couldn't speak anyway. I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past, but there wasn't. There was nothing we could do... So I just stayed silent and tried to telepathically communicate how sorry I was about what happened. I thought of all the grief and sadness and fucked up suffering in the world, and it made me want to escape. I wished with all my heart we could just leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically disappear."
